This weekend came to town for a bday camping trip that was rained out. Instead we spent our time catching up, making food and wasting time.
I was afraid it would be a little weird to navigate the waters of keeping mutual friends and for Caitlin's part she seems to be handling things as well as she could be expected to. Making things that much more tense, I knew that Meg was picking her up on Sunday so they could spend time together.
When Caitlin showed up, I wanted to be able to feed her vegan friendly food, so I made a run to the grocery store to get as many veggies as I could fit in the fridges crisper. I got home and started whipping up a salad, of course I had forgotten lettuce, which I did not realize until she was at the door. (Strike 1) In addition to raining out camping, the hurricane also made my 3rd roommate postpone moving in. He is the one with all of the furniture. The result? Another weekend without furniture, and no real legitimate place for Caitlin to sleep. (Strike 2) Finally, and there is the awkward issue of Meg coming up in conversation. After three years together and 5 years as friends it's strange to have her excluded from conversation. The result was an elephant in the room that kept me more than a little on edge. (Strike 3)
I am to a small degree living every divorce cliche from the Wire to Liar, Liar. Short of being unable to assemble an Ikea bunk bed set or missing soccer practice I think I fit the role quite well.
Today was also the ceremonial exchanging of left behind goods. I got some T-Shirts and a book back, she got "Franz Ferdinand: Tonight" out of my CD player where it has lived since May. Seeing her for a second in my foyer was like a punch in the stomach. It is the only time I have ever missed someone completely and wanted them gone so badly at the same time.
In some ways I may be be doing better, but everything I do still has a giant, neon "WTF!?" hanging over it that leaves me wondering where things went so wrong and how they can ever get better.
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