Always With Us

Last night I had a dream about the fall that took Ryan's life. It was playing over and over again in my mind, when suddenly it stopped. I was at the kitchen table from the Pheasant Way house sitting across the from Ryan. Needless to say we were both drinking Long Trail. I talked a little about what had been going on it my life since I'd last seen him but mostly I listened.

He told me he was doing good now where he was and I could tell that it was great by how much he smiled and laughed. He told me how much he missed his family and his friends and how he was sorry to have left us. He reminded me to not worry so much about life's stresses and in true Ryan style, assured me that things would turn out fine. I told him how sad I was about not making it to Reno and he laughed like it had not occurred to him that it was a big deal.

He left with a hug and a "Peace", and I found myself awake and shaking back in my hotel.

I started writing this in hope of being able to write about Ryan's loss, but I still can't find the words I need. For now all that I can say is that not a day goes by that I don't think about him, and look to his spirit for guidance.