Last week, on the Q4 investor conference call the CEO of Boston Scientific announced (in further proof of the corporate world's love of military imagery) that this year we will be starting a Top Gun school for promising people across the organization. Ideal Top Gun candidates have a track record of success, perseverance in the face of adversity and a willingness to be relocated with little notice. They will get training, exposure and assignments in the most high risk - high reward parts of the business.
When it was announced I was excited, and my first thought was how much I wanted in. The program I am in now has given me some great challenges and visibility, but Top Gun sounds like it would give me the chance to excel beyond the world of IS. On the other hand, as someone who already feels like the corporate world requires sacrifices, I don't know if getting in deeper is what I really want or need.
I would love:
The challenge
The recognition
The travel
The money
The pace
The stress
Putting "Top Gun" on my resume (maybe tattoos if the other fellas were in)
I would resent:
Missing pieces of my life
Waiting indefinitely to get a dog
Cold silent glares from Meg
Skiing less than 10 days a year
Getting into the program would be a big challenge unto itself, so for now this is all a pretty academic exercise. It's just one more siren song of the corporate world.
If you watched last nights Superbowl, or just youtubed the commercials, you may have noticed a pattern emerging. Among the ads with sexy women touting or being attracted by products was a series of ads saying America men are a nation of pussy whipped homos, or in one case, it's ok to be a pussy whipped homo as long as you have 3 kids to prove other wise.
Call it a crisis of masculinity.
If Madison Avenue is to be believed, American men are on the verge of losing their last shred of dignity and all they can hope for is to hold on to dear life to that shred with a slew of products which will define them as men.
With women outnumbering men in the workplace, and gender roles continuing to evolve perhaps this was a long time coming. Perhaps it is simply the hangover from a decade of Queer Eye for the Straight Guy.
Advertising has found an age old male insecurity and taken it to a new level.
In case you missed them, I've included Video Dodge Charger - Man's Last Stand
In this ad (by far my favourite) men are shown as saps and house pets who endure the brutal ordeal of basic civility and hygene so their nagging women tolerate them to have an impractical car. Until the end it has a fairly good natured tone, and the use of Dexter (Michael C Hall) for voice works reminds us that we as men are perhaps all putting on a bit of a show to get what we really want.
Dove - Finally You're Comfortable With Who You Are
This ad perhaps really bothers me the most. What I get from it is "Hey, you have three kids and a wife. You can finally stop using a body wash that smells like air freshener without people thinking you are gay".
While this message is not blatant, the ending line about "finally being comfortable enough" suggests to me that the poor man in this commercial has spent his life in a gay panic.
A part of me believes that this poor man is living a lie.
Dockers - Wear the Pants
This ad is a bit retarded, and its placement next to a careerbuilder.com also featuring pantless middle aged men made it all the more bizarre.
This ad has a simpler message - If you are not wearing the pants you look foolish. Dockers will make you a man!
The truth sadly is that Dockers will make you dressed appropriately for a BBQ and will do little for your relationships.
Flo TV - His Girlfriend has Removed his Spine
By far the dumbest ad, this ad draws the line of masculinity at being able to watch live sports. Shopping all day with your girlfriend may be the price you pay for love in this ad, but it seems like a bit of a stretch to think that a portable TV will make the cliche mess we watch unfold work itself out.
Resparking a sexual relationship with a women who wants your attention bad enough to take you lingerie shopping will make you feel like more of a man, not watching a fucking mini TV.
As the cherry on top of the dumbness of this ad, are the makers of FLO TV unaware of something called the iPhone, or merely hopeful that their customers will be?
